Talking about our wedding that is! We got our wedding DVD this week, and seriously, we have watched it so many times. We love remembering the special moments of our day and its so amazing to see it on video. Check it out :)
Last night, Michael and I were looking through our wedding pictures, and reminiscing about the day and our families and friends. There are so many happy, happy memories from that day, but one of my absolute favorites is my sisters toast. I knew she was nervous about it, and worked on it for hours. I let her know I had no expectation and she didn't even have to do it if she really didn't want to, but she assured me that she was doing it no matter what. I didn't want her to think I expected anything that was worthy of a Nobel prize, I just wanted her to speak from her heart and she nailed it on the head. It was so touching, heartfelt, funny, emotional, and real. If there is one thing about my sister I love most, it is how real she is. She never sugar coats things, she never worries about what others think of her, she is just real in every sense of the word. I admire that about her so much.
Our relationship has not always been full of loving and laughter, we have had our share of ups and downs and I am the first to admit I have been at fault many of times. We have had times when we spend every day together, and other times where we want to punch each other in the face. Through it all, we have managed to have this strong bond, we know what the other is thinking before its even said, sometimes before its even thought if that even makes sense. We both have this strange ability to read other people, know what they are feeling, if they are mad, sad, upset, etc. (This is especially true with our parents).
Moving out of state was hard for me in so many ways. I knew I would miss all my family, our friends, my job and my co-workers, our dogs (yes Mom, I really do miss the dogs!!) and everything else about what my life was in California. But the single hardest thing for me, was moving away from my sister. I tried so hard the weeks before moving to hold it together, to enjoy our time together each day because I knew I wasn't going to have the luxury of seeing her every day once we moved. We had a lot going on with the wedding, and she was there to help every step of the way. I did a great job of holding it together, packing up our stuff wasn't too difficult, sorting through which clothes were mine and which were hers wasn't even that hard, but the minute I laid my head down on the air mattress that occupied the space our bed once was, knowing it was the last time I would close my eyes in "my room" at the house that has been my home my entire life, I lost it. I cried so hard I felt like I could not breathe. My sister must have known (maybe its part of that strange ability that I mentioned we both have) how bad my heart was hurting, because she came in at just the right time, and just held me while I sobbed. It was probably 30 minutes of crying. Not just tears coming out of my eyes, the kind of crying where you cant speak through the tears, the kind where snot pour out of your nose and you could care less, because you are that upset. I admire her strength, because that night that she comforted me, I did not hear her break once. I am sure that she felt sad, and maybe had a few tears escape, but nothing to the severity of my breakdown. She knew that I needed her strength in my weakness, she just knew.
That cry wasn't about moving, it wasn't about starting a new job in a new place, it wasn't about buying a new house with my new husband in a new state, that cry was plain and simple about being away from my sister. It made an ache in my heart to think about being without her, and I still feel that every day. Sure we talk, we text, email, all that fun stuff, but nothing is the same as being with her. I miss everything about her, even her indecisiveness and her procrastination! I would give anything right now to be sitting at home, going back and forth with where we are going to eat lunch, and which one of us needs to decide. I miss hearing her walk in the door late at night, and falling asleep easier just knowing she is home. I miss her so much!!
My wish for my relationship with my sister is that it continues to grow stronger each passing minute, day, week, month and year. I want her to know that no matter how far apart we are, or what crazy things are going on in our lives, I want to always be her best friend, biggest supporter, and #1 fan. I want us to continue to share our hopes and dreams, and what we want to be when we grow up. I want us to always have an active part in each others lives, and to always remain close.
Bean- I love you more than you will ever know, and I want you to know just how special you are and how important you are in my life. Thank you for what you have done for me, thank you for loving me unconditionally, thank you for loving my husband as much as you do, and for always being supportive of my decisions. You sometimes know whats best for me even more than I do, as weird as that may sound. Thank you for staying strong in my moments of weakness, and for allowing me to do the same for you. Thank you for setting the example of always just being you. I love you and miss you, and cant wait for you to come visit!!
Some friends were in this weekend and to celebrate Elyces birthday, we went to dinner (which was great thank goodness) and to see Tropical Thunder. Michael had heard it was funny, and Elyce had no other movies in mind, so Tropical Thunder it was. Omg, it wasnt as bad as Pineapple Express, but it was pretty bad!!
I got a huge yummy box last week from our awesome wedding photographers Chelsea Elizabeth and Araxi that was full of all our wedding pictures. I cry every time I look at them, and re-live every moment each time. I love the emotions that filled our wedding day, not just mine and Michaels, but everyone involved. We really are so blessed to have so many family and great friends who love us both so much. I loved seeing people we havent seen in ages, and watching them have fun. I am sure once we get our new computer and not this slow laptop I will be posting tons of our wedding pics, I just love them so much. We should be getting our video this week and I cant wait!
Work is going great. For those of you who dont know, I got an awesome job in Arizona and I am so lucky. I am in a very intense training program for the ICU, full of clinical days on the floor and a really tough ICU Academy program on the computer, its a little hectic, but I am so happy. Yesterday was my first day on the floor, one on one with my preceptor, who I love so much. I think I will learn so much from her because she is a great nurse, but even more she is just a great person, mom, wife, etc. I cant say enough nice things about her and I am so lucky to be with her for 3 months.
I am off for 2 days, woo-hoo!, so hanging out with my mother in law today, running some errands, fantasizing about all the furniture I want but will never have in my house, and hopefully hitting up the cheesecake factory, my FAV!
To my distant friend, if you are reading this, I hope that last interaction is not what ended our friendship, I hope we can see eachothers sides of the story, and how we both were hurt in ways we did not realize. I love you and hate not having you in my life.
Got this off a blog, since I had nothing to post about I figured what the heck :)
Leave it to my husband to find a $9.95 bug zapper and get hours upon hours of fun out of it. Seriously, who knew BBQ'ing bugs could bring someone so much happiness?!