I feel like every single day I wake up is a day full of new losses.
More discovered broken dreams.
This morning I woke up and the reality hit me so hard that I will never hear my dads voice again.
I loved his caring, soft voice.
Yesterday it was the realization that never again will I walk into my parents home and see his smile.
I always looked forward to that.
The day before it was the reality that I can never call him to tell him all the funny stories about my girls.
He always laughed the most.
He will never come over and roll his eyes at the huge ‘dad-to-do’ list I had been adding too since his last visit.
He loved visiting us.
On Fathers Day it was the heart crushing reality that I will never wrap another present and address it to ‘dad’ again.
I loved picking out his gifts.
I will never get another text on my phone from ‘grampy.’
He checked in with me every single day.
He will never do another crossword puzzle again.
He seriously knew every answer.
My kids will never get to play with him at the park again.
My girls adored him.
I will never get to make him a meal again.
He always praised my cooking, especially if it had pasta and cheese.
He will never get to sing me Happy Birthday again.
I have so many more birthdays to celebrate.
I will never be someone who was ‘so blessed’ to never have anything tragic happen to me.
I will never take my blessings for granted again.
This hole in my heart and huge gap in my life will never go away.
Becaused I loved him that much.