This week has been just plain awful.
Right now it feels impossible to be able to celebrate anything, and for that I feel terrible guilt.
Out-of-state family visiting.
My sister-in-laws wedding.
Fathers Day.
All I can think about is that on Tuesday it was the first ‘anniversary’ of life without my dad.
1 whole month has come and gone since that God awful day I kissed him goodbye for the last time.
Life will never be the same again.
I will forever be changed.
Some days my grief is so deep I feel physical pain in his absence from my life. Most days are like that.
On Fathers Day I should have been able to feel joy to be able to celebrate the amazing Father my husband is to our girls.
Instead, I spent the day punching the matress with my fists while my face was burried in a pillow soaked with tears.
It just doesnt seem fair.
